5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce

Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because people tend to fear for themselves. In fact, think about having a life after divorce while getting a divorce can be a sticking point for some people because they just aren't sure what their life will "look like" after divorce.

Here's 5 things to keep in mind so can have a life after divorce:
Life after divorce item 1: Think about your emotional stability...if you wanted the divorce or not, you must face it head on.

Divorce is tough and whether you're going through it or your are already past it, your emotional stability is of vital importance because you might tend to be somewhat touchy after going through an emotional ordeal. Keep in mind that your life after divorce can be great but you must admit that you will go through (or have gone through) a trying time in your life. Admitting this and facing your situation head on is important to your emotional stability and critical to you having a happy life after divorce.

Life after divorce item 2: Look at the bright side, having life after divorce could be a new start for you!
How may times in your life do you wish you could have just started over knowing what you know now? If you answered "many", don't worry, that's a common thought most of us have. Having a positive mental attitude about your new beginning will make a huge difference in how happy your life will be after divorce. Life after divorce can be fantastic and it can also be very tough if you don't remain positive about a what's in front of you. Look at the glass as being "half full" and realize that, in order to be happy after divorce, you must take advantage of the opportunity to get a fresh start!

Life after divorce item 3: Surround yourself with people you like in your free time.
Too often times people start new relationships with just about anyone because they are lonely while getting a divorce or after getting a divorce. Sparking a relationship, romantic or friendly, with anyone and everyone who will spend time with you can contribute to unhappiness in your life after divorce. Stop and think about the people that you spend time with and ask yourself, "Once my emotional turmoil has ended, would I really want to keep the relationship going with this person?". Life after divorce is tough...so, when you're deciding about divorce, going through one, or already have been through a divorce, make sure that you carefully choose who to spend your free time with or you may fall into more negativity in your life after divorce.
Life after divorce item 4: Make it a point to spend time doing things that you like to do every week.
Make sure that you spend time enjoying your life after divorce - don't forget to 'stop and smell the roses'. Some people vent, work, go into hiding, or just plain go haywire after getting a divorce and their subsequent life after divorce isn't as healthy as possible. At least once a week, take the time to go and do something that you really enjoy doing...it will help you deal with your life after divorce in a more pleasing manner.
Life after divorce item 5: Set specific goals and implement a plan to achieve those goals.

Life after divorce is a tumultuous time, your life can seemingly be 'in the balance'. In order to make sure that you feel good about yourself and enjoy the feeling that accomplishment brings, think about a goal or set of goals that you've always had but never attained. Then, prioritize those goals and devise a plan to obtain them, one by one. Implement each plan and be happy (in fact celebrate) once you've reached your goal. Your life after divorce will be markedly better and healthier if you take this concept to heart and follow it.
Visualizing your life after divorce (and thinking about what your life might be like after divorce) is a sound and logical thing to do in order to be happy after divorce. Your life after divorce does not need to be a continuation of the pain you might have gone through or are currently going through.

Life after divorce can be extremely liberating if you act based on logic plus positive emotions rather than negativity. If divorce is eminent or you've already been through divorce, take the time to actually plan your life after divorce.

Happy Ending!

10 Warnings For Dating A Girl Who Travels

1. She’ll always be planning something. Whether it’s a backpacking trip across India or a weekend trip on the beach for two, her mind will always be on the next destination, the next adventure, the next escape. Sometimes she’ll want you to come and other times she’ll want to be completely on her own. Her dreams are made up of foreign landscapes and unknown cities.

2. You’ll think it’s hard to get close to her. Sometimes it will seem like the only thing she talks about is leaving. She wants to leave, yes, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to come back. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a base to lay her things or an address to call home. Her home is within the love she shares with the people in her life. She wants to fall in love, to build a relationship, to share a life with someone. All she wants is the freedom to explore the world when she has the chance (and that you’ll share that open-mindedness and curiosity about the world as well).

3. She might have a hard time letting you in. So, even though she wants that euphoric experience of falling in love it can be hard for her to go from being solely independent and single to dating someone and realizing she can actually count on them to help her out and be there for her. When you travel you change, you adapt, you grow, and within this process you come out a stronger person and sometimes you just become a bit stuck in your ways when you’ve been on your own for so long. Give it time.

4.  She can be seemingly stubborn at times (because she knows who she is). When we travel we often find ourselves and discover deeper insight and perspective into our lives and who we are. A girl who travels is sure of herself and her abilities. (But this doesn’t mean you can’t totally call her out when she’s wrong).

5. If you’re afraid of leaving the country, it’s probably not going to work with her. Less than 40% of Americans have passports so it’s not a huge surprise if you haven’t left the country before  but if you have no interest in exploring a different city or country – ever – she simply won’t be able to understand you. She wants someone she can dream with, someone she can explore the world with, and if your fear overrides your interest of experiencing foreign travel the relationship likely won’t work out.

6. And if you’re culturally closed-minded, again, it’s not going to work. A girl who travels thrives on immersing herself in other cultures, learning foreign languages, trying strange and exciting new foods, learning the customs of other people. Does this mean you have to share the exact same interests? No, of course not. But if you’re the type who isn’t open to new experiences and shut her down when she talks about a place you don’t know very much about you two aren’t going to be compatible.

7. She’s not going to be the kind of girl who wants a traditional lifestyle. A girl who makes travel a priority is usually not the kind of girl seeking a traditional lifestyle. She’s not so much interested in “settling down” as she is with just finding someone she’s compatible with to spend her life with. If marriage and kids eventually comes with that, then great, but she’s never going to be the kind of girl who wants to live in the suburbs living a traditional life.

8. She’s going to need you to be a source of strength when she arrives back from a solo trip. Reverse culture shock can be a short time period that follows arriving back in one’s home country after traveling abroad. When you’ve just spent so much time in a land where everything seems new and exciting, different and challenging, it can be hard to come back to your normal life and routine. It usually only lasts a short time but a girl who travels needs her significant other to understand this bit of melancholy doesn’t have anything to do with them.

9. You’re going to need to be an independent person who’s okay with spending time alone. If you’re the sort of person who needs to be with their SO 24/7 outside of work/school you’re going to have a hard time dating a girl with her own independent tendencies. She sees her relationships as a place of comfort where both people have their own lives and come together to create a great partnership. She needs you to be secure with yourself and your relationship.

10. She won’t be able to hide her disappointment if you aren’t up for one of her crazy adventures. To a girl who travels, spontaneity is what life is all about. Like I said, she’s always planning something, and when it comes to the person she’s dating she wants to include them in on her escapades. If she plans a surprise getaway to the beach when she knows you have some time off of work she’s going to be super bummed if you can’t match her excitement. She wants someone to dream with and who shares her sense of adventure.

17 Dating Habits Of An Independent Woman

1. She’s never sitting around, waiting for you to call. She’s got too much to do and too much to think about outside of her dating life.

2. Rather, she’s confident enough and comfortable enough with herself to know that if you like her, and you’ve got balls, you will call her. If you don’t, oh well. It wasn’t meant to be and she’ll be happier with someone else.

3. At the same time, if she likes you and she feels like talking to you, she’ll call whenever she damn well pleases. She’s got a busy life and a lot going on, so if she likes you enough, she has no problem with using one of her rare spare moments to talk to you.

4. If planning a date and figuring out a time is more complicated than planning a bank robbery, or if you have to “take a rain check” on multiple occasions, she’s going to get over it real fast. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and having to waste energy on someone who cancels all the time is not worth it.

5. She’s extremely self-aware. She knows that being independent and self-sufficient doesn’t mean she lacks emotions or feelings. It just means that she’s got a fast-moving life and she’s not afraid of waving away someone who’s just bringing nonsense or negativity into her life.

6. She’s not looking for someone to support her financially. She’s looking for someone who’s going to support her emotionally and mentally. She wants support in life and in whatever it is that she’s trying to do.

7. …And when she thinks she’s found someone like that, she’s just as ready to share her own support and encouragement with them.

8. She’s not into the Hollywood movie stereotype of the cutthroat career woman who becomes soft and loving the minute a man enters into her life and rescues her.

9. Instead, an independent woman just thinks of herself as someone who is ambitious, hard-working, and self-sustaining. She’s not looking for a man to sweep in and save her from this life. She loves this life. She’s just looking for someone who’s going to balance her out, stand as her equal, and allow her to share the life she’s built up for herself.

10. An independent woman knows that she doesn’t have to be crazily successful and wealthy to be considered independent and to feel independent. All she needs is to feel comfortable in her own skin, to know how to provide for herself, and to have passions and interests and projects that exist outside of her dating life.

11. …But she’s not against dating. She doesn’t hate men. She loves dating. She enjoys romance. She wants to find someone and share her life with them. She just knows how to balance it out with other things in order to keep herself feeling fulfilled and happy.

12. An independent woman will not play games with you. Not because she thinks she’s better than you or because she is too good for games. She just finds playing games to be boring and a waste of time. She’s used to being upfront about who she is and what she wants, so playing games is not something that comes naturally to her.

13. She is not concerned with petty drama. Maybe she was, at some point, because enjoying drama is just a natural part of being a teenager and growing up. But at this point in her life, she doesn’t need drama. She has enough going on to keep her entertained, and too many other things that she’s curious about to get caught up in unimportant drama.

14. Being self-sufficient and independent is not equivalent to being high-strung. She’s just as happy to spend a night in her pajamas with you as she is to go out to a nice dinner date. If she likes you, she doesn’t care about what she should be doing and what kind of dates she should be going on. She’ll do whatever she wants, because as long as she is having fun with you, it doesn’t matter.

15. She doesn’t nag you, but she does expect you to put forth your best self.

16. …And she will not apologize for that.

17. She doesn’t believe that she’s always right, but she does believe she has a right to her own opinions. She knows that she makes mistakes and is not correct in everything that she says. But she will not apologize for having something to say.

12 Signs You’re Dating a Girl, Not A Woman

It has come to my attention that many women believe “real men” do not exist anymore. As if all of the “good guys” are gone, and the hashtag “#foreveralone” will define their lives indefinitely. The same women that make these claims are often the same women who are oblivious to those “good guys” that are all around them. The point of my rant is that I’m here to say that we do exist! We’re just in hiding.

We’re hiding from all of those women that believe twerking is a legitimate form of dancing, those that feel like cheating is acceptable (assuming no one finds out), and those that firmly believe not telling the whole truth isn’t lying. As a guy, it is easy to be roped into dating someone that doesn’t quite fit your idea of what an “ideal mate” might be. While it has been my misfortune to date some “unique” women, I have learned a great deal from my experiences. The following list is meant to inform, not to hate on, call out, or even upset anyone; this is simply an observational list of what I’ve seen while dating. Enjoy.

1. Her life is “so” complicated.

She works 10AM-6PM yet cannot manage to get her life in order. She’s consistently struggling with “stress” because she doesn’t get to spend enough time doing the things she wants to do, yet she goes out 3-4 times per week. Her parents still pay most of her bills because her college major won’t pay the bills…yet. Or so she says.

2. She’s unable to make a decision without consulting her daddy.

Confidently making decisions is the sign of a true adult. We may have absolutely NO idea if it is the right one, but we make it, learn from it, and move on. If your girlfriend needs to have a phone conference with her “daddy” to figure out if it’s “OK” to put air in the tires of her car, reconsider the fact that she’s your girlfriend.

3. She has champagne tastes on a PBR budget.

Sure, that Louis Vuitton handbag looks great tucked under her spray-tanned skin and dyed hair, but if she worries about paying rent this month, her priorities are clearly out of order.

4. She’s simply “figuring out her next move.”

The uncertain, unmotivated, “drifting through life” type of female is more common than one might think. I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting several driven, successful women that make it even worse for this type of girl. You wonder if they’ll ever make moves that will ultimately lead them to their idea of success or if they’ll continue to work at the local five-and-dime.

5. She believes that “twerking” is an acceptable dance move in her mid-twenties.

Miley Cyrus is her “hero.” She firmly believes that no one can “hold her down” and “judge her,” but the truth is that everyone does. The way you represent yourself while out on the town still exists the next day. Just because you had one too many shots of vodka doesn’t mean the girl snapping your picture and posting it online did. Welcome to the world of social media.

6. Lying, stealing, and cheating. Yeah.

7. She has a severe case of FOMO.

Fear of missing out, also known as FOMO, is one of the worst diseases to ever plague young women and men. It causes severe anxiety, depression, and a chronic use of the phrase, “Wish you were here!!!!” It’s hard to put into words how difficult it is to deal with someone that suffers from severe FOMO, but imagine being on a romantic getaway that you’ve been planning for months, and your girlfriend is upset that she can’t “go out with the girls to the piano bar.” Way to go, girl. Way to go.

8. She consistently talks about her ex-boyfriends.

While it’s important to understand where your significant other is coming from, if you take her to dinner and the only thing she talks about is how her ex once took her to a fancy restaurant and what they ordered, it’s excessive. Learn to filter. And by the way, the whole “I don’t have a filter” thing, yeah, that’s not real. And if it is, you should probably seek medical attention.

9. She is unable to speak in a logical fashion about anything.

If confronting your significant other about something simple turns into something that is out of control…run. Again, the bigger things in life will require someone that has a level head, can think for themselves, and isn’t afraid of the unknown or at least won’t run from it.

10. She expects you to be there for her, but it isn’t reciprocated.

You break your back to make time for her, but you’re still an option. Move on!

11. She can’t get over the fact that you have friends who are girls.

Some of my best friends are girls. They’ve never been anything but my friend, nor will they ever be, so why worry? Is it because you’re unable to control yourself with a guy friend? This type of action is worrisome. Personally speaking, I’m a professional, surrounded by PEOPLE, male and female, and respect them as such. While I do understand there is a fine line between being friends, lovers, and nothing, I believe that respect and trust go a long way.

12. She seeks the attention of others via massive amounts of selfies.

I’ve taken selfies. I’ve added filters. I’ve hashtagged. But I do not seek the approval of others via a selfie. If your girlfriend’s Instagram account is more than 50% selfies… run! As a guy, you want to feel like your opinion matters when your girlfriend asks, “How do I look?” However, this question has been replaced by a newer one, “How many likes will this get?”
In summary, it’s quite obvious that this article won’t change the world, but I do hope that it will serve as a guide. Run away from all things negative, focus on finding the good, and hopefully you’ll be able to point out those situations that may cause future problems in your own romantic endeavors. Until next time, live well.

10 Little Defining Moments In A Woman’s Life

I’ve hit certain moments in a woman’s life that aren’t often discussed, but at some point, happen to every woman.

The moment when…

10. …she stops dressing for anyone but herself.

9. …she decides to accept and love her boobs for what they are — or just uses a push-up bra and is done with the whole thing.

8. …she has the balls to turn someone down, to their face, instead of being polite and telling them it can’t work “right now.” 

7. …she says, “screw it” and uses her laptop as a heating pad, which is probably not healthy, but again, screw it.

6. …she stops lying about her age. There are two moments when she does this: when she’s around 19, she stops lying about being older, because she thinks it makes her cool, and when she’s around 27 she stops lying about being younger, because… she thinks it makes her cool. 

5. …she fully embraces her inner “I don’t give a fuck” lady, the lady who comes to save all us women at some point. Some are lucky enough to be visited by her early in life. Some of us don’t meet her until we reach our 30s or beyond. But once she comes, she’s here to stay. And it’s so freeing.

4. …she finally stops agonizing over texts and asking her friends to analyze them with her, like they’re poring over the Warren Commission and she’s a second shooter believer. She realizes now that she no longer has time for such nonsense. 

3. …and she reaches the point where if they don’t text back, she believes it is entirely their loss, and moves on with her life.

2. …she doesn’t care if she’s tagged in an unflattering photo, because what does it matter, really? She knows she’s hot.
 
1. …she realizes the only type of woman that she has to be is the woman she already is.

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