My Relationship, Depression and Then Hope

It’s a long story, but worth the read.

On May 5th, 2014, I got into a relationship with a United States Airman. I had known him for over 6 years as a friend and we had dated a couple of times before that. The month before we got together, I was in a relationship with my best friend from high school. We were together for 2 and a half years. The relationship me and him were in was heading downhill. It got to where I took care of him, he wouldn’t get a job, and wouldn’t take care of himself hygenically. So I started talking to my airman. We talked while he was stationed at an undisclosed air base. I was 700 miles away. We were talking and I realized he was grown into the shoes he wears and he was everything I wanted. I didn’t want to leave the relationship I was in, but my airman told me he would always love me, and that he wanted me in his life and that he believe he could truly make me happy. I never stopped loving him from the previous relationships and I knew he was who I wanted, but I was the one breaking up with him in the past relationships. So, I made the choice to get out of the 2 and a half year relationship.

However, my airman was afraid to tell me that he was given orders to deploy to Afghanistan for 6 months in September. He thought I wouldn’t want to try a relationship again. I cried after knowing that, but not because he hid that from me. I was afraid for him. He wanted to know if I could come help my best friend Mel (who was living with him at the time) keep the apartment they were staying at. It is hard enough to keep an apartment with a full time job paying minimum wage, but she was only part time and wouldn’t have a change to keep the apartment after he shipped out overseas, so I agreed to move down there, get a job and help her keep the apartment. I finished up my 3rd year in college, and didn’t enroll for the next year.

So, May 1st rolls around, and they leave the airbase, driving 700 miles back home to visit family and friends. They surprised me by showing up at my house that night. They had birthday gifts for me that I didn’t know about. My best friend got me a dragonfly necklace and the guy I was talking to at the time got me a pillow pet baby seal that glowed in the dark. I gave the pillow pet the nickname Jumbo, due to his large size. They told me they were still 3 hours away, then they pulled in my driveway twenty minutes later. My best friend snuck into the house to get me, and I ran outside and jumped in his arms, giving him a big hug where I missed him.  4 days later, he comes to see me at my house, and we talked and talked for hours just lying in my bed. And he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was ecstatic and said yes.

So May 14th rolled around and we got all my stuff packed and got me moved two states away. I was happy to have someone to fall asleep next to, and to cuddle at night and not be so alone anymore. As time started going by, we got intimate, which was the only thing we had in common. He liked staying on his computer, and building computers, and working on his personal server that he kept in the apartment. I enjoyed talking and companionship, but I enjoyed being near him more. As September seemed to get closer, I was getting worried about him leaving for 6 months. I was so in love with him, and didn’t think I could last a day without him.

Mid-August comes up, and he gave me some news about his deployment. His orders were canceled. He no longer had to go to Afghanistan. Needless to say, I was happy. I was happy because I wouldn’t be alone like I thought I would. I cried again, but with happiness.  More months go by, and we started arguing more, because I wanted to have ‘talks’ with him, explaining that I felt emotionally neglected because he didn’t want to spend any time with me. I was working two jobs by this point. I almost never got a day off from both jobs, and when I came home at 8-10pm after being gone since 7-9 that morning, I wanted just five minutes of alone time with him when I came home. He wouldn’t hardly give me the time of day when I came home. He stayed on his computer and done things that made him happy.

Time continuing, he decides to buy a house after having two noise complaints at the apartment he was staying in, so we all started looking for houses. He found the perfect one, and decided to buy it. November started becoming a stressful month, and it got to where we didn’t do anything anymore. We never went on dates anymore. He wouldn’t go with me to Walmart, because God knows I don’t like being alone in big places. But at every opportunity, I was go with him wherever he went just to get those 5 minutes I wanted. When he wouldn’t give me the 5 minutes I wanted with him, I would stay up until 2am just to be awake when he comes to bed so I could remember the cuddles he would give me that night. And I had to wake up early to go to work. It was worth it to me.

December rolls around, and I am constantly reminding him that I want more time with him. He felt that we had nothing to do together anymore except be intimate, which bored him after a while and which I yearned for because I got time with him. We finally get into a final argument and he broke up with me.
I spent hours crying in the bedroom, begging him not to do it. I begged him to come to bed with me, and hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay, but that night he slept on the couch. I cried until 4am. I texted my mom and told her I wanted to come home more than anything. I cried until I couldn’t breathe, and cried until exhaustion caused me to sleep.  I woke up that next morning as he was getting ready for work, and as he put on his uniform, I wiped my eyes again as they started tearing up. Many thoughts crossed my mind at the time. Why now? Why break my heart after I move 700 miles away for him? Why break my heart after convincing me to break up with someone and promise me that he could make me happy? He started to head for the door to leave, and I said to him “I love you,” and with a distasteful sigh, he looked back at me, and said “And you know I love you,” as if he were tired of saying it. He would always say “I love you” before going to work, but that morning was different. It was saying to me “I love you, but not ‘in’ love with you,”

That day, I decided to go back home. He told me I was more than welcome to stay, but my heart couldn’t do it anymore after he said that if I stayed, there would be no more kisses, I love you’s, or intimate moments. I asked him to do me one favor to keep my sanity at least until I could go back home to my family. I asked for 3 good days. I asked for 3 days of hugs, kisses, and I love you’s. He said he would do it for me. I had hoped that during those 3 days of packing my stuff, hugging him, and kissing him would make him realize that he still loved me. It didn’t work and only hurt me further. The night I left was 5 days until Christmas. He helped me get packed and loaded my stuff into my mother’s car. My mother and aunt got into the car, and I hugged him and cried harder than I ever cried before. He told me everything would be okay. Maybe after I learned to base my happiness on my life rather than on him, and made something of myself then maybe we could try again

I finally get home after a 13 hour drive and unload my stuff into the house. Since that night, I’ve went to bed every night crying and contemplating on how my life is going to turn out. I can’t imagine my life without him because I put all of myself into the relationship. If I was willing to move away from my friends and family to come help him and be with him, then I must have loved him. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about him, and the happy times we shared. It’s hard to go through my phone and see pictures of us. It’s hard to go to town and see the same red truck he drives. It’s hard to go to bed and sleep on the pillow he bought me and to smell him on all of my blankets.

I had been thinking on ending my life. Not saying that I was going to, but I was thinking about it for reasons beyond my control. It’s been 3 weeks since the breakup and I’m falling further down into a depression and going on these downward spirals to where I can’t think straight or think at all. I just want my humanity turned off. I don’t want emotion ruling my life.

So for a few nights, the thoughts of ending my life came on stronger and it was not what I wanted to do. I didn’t want a permanent solution to a temporary problem.So I started doing research online and found TheHopeLine.

Here, I was able to chat with a Coach, who suggested that I take care of myself before this depression gets any worse. And the amazing thing was, he/she gave me advice that no one was giving me. They were telling me stuff I already knew and stuff I needed to know. Maybe getting help is the best solution for me because doing nothing will make this worse.

While I was waiting in line to talk to the HopeCoach, I was in one of my downward spirals, asking God “Why am I hurting so much? Why do I think about him all the time? I just want this pain to end, I just want to live life happy again.” At the end of the chat, the Coach asked if I would like to pray, and it was there that I believed God wanted my suffering to end. He wanted to guide me out of this dark hole long enough to find one of his people who he calls on to help others. He wanted me to know that he was thinking of me during this whole thing. If it were not for my dark thoughts, I never would have searched for help, and I wouldn’t have found it.

God led me to the Coach that I chatted with, and from there, both of them have helped me through this ordeal.

I can only hope and pray that it can get easier here on out. Thanks to anyone who is reading my story.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I may not see it yet, and you may not yet either, but God loves you, and he will guide you through anything. God bless you, and have a safe year.

Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2

HERE we look at what the research says about more of the so-called 'medical causes' of depression... Earlier I have posted this post Part one version, here it is Medical Causes of Depression Take a look inside. 

"Depression is hereditary"

"Depression runs in the Family" or "it's in your genes" are commonly given as causes of depression. If you are suffering from depression, being told you were "bound to get it", can be an incredibly unhelpful statement to have thrown at you.
And it's not true.
There is some evidence that some depression has a genetic basis. Manic depression, or bipolar disorder, in particular.
However...

1. We know that most depression is learned, not genetic. (1)
2. Because much depression has to do with styles of thinking, behavior and interpersonal relationships, there is much scope for depressive styles to be passed down in families by learning. (2)
3. Even if you do have a genetic predisposition to depression, it is no more than a predisposition. You are not certain to become depressed, by any means. There is no gene for depression, and there never will be because genes just don't work that way. (3,4)

"It's in your genes"

We now know that most family depression is learned, not genetic. It's incredibly hard not to be affected by a depressed person, and as children, much of our behavior is learned from our parents. (See 2 & 3 above.)

"Depression is caused by illness"

Depression can "co-occur" or be triggered by an existing medical condition. The physical effects of depression are very real and often debilitating, but only around 10-18% of depression is triggered by another medical condition.

And as depressing as some diseases are, they don't automatically cause depression.
Pain, for example, can cause an inability to partake in enjoyable activities, interrupt sleep patterns, make life less pleasant, and cause feelings of hopelessness.
Some food allergies, or intolerance, when undiagnosed cause low energy levels, interrupted sleep, and increased worry as the person tries to figure out what is wrong with them.
However, they do not cause depression.

To understand the link between physical causes of depression, and depression itself, we need to first to look at the thinking styles associated with depressive behavior and symptoms. From here we can see how the these cause ongoing physical effects.

This is where we get an important insight into understanding depression and how it is maintained.
This connection is in fact the cause of depression, and so it is crucial to understand when you are looking for help with depression. We will explore this fully later in the Learning Path.

Read Also:
Causes of Depression 
Symptoms of Depression 
Signs of Depression 
Medical Causes of Depression
Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2 

Medical Causes of Depression

Here is Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2 if you already have read this post
As we have seen, depression is not primarily a physical disorder, although it is often described as a 'disease'. (If you have completed the rest of the Learning Path so far, you must excuse us for repetition, it's essential that this idea is dealt with, otherwise as a sufferer you can feel helpless, and assume that drugs are the only answer.)

"Depression, we are saying, is not a disease; it is a natural response to certain types of emotional introspection that result in excessive dreaming." - Human Givens, 2003, J. Griffin & I. Tyrrell

Overcoming depression is made much harder by the many half truths that are commonly aired, on the news, in magazines, or by well-meaning friends. These often make it seem inevitable you'll get depression, or that once you suffer from depression you'll have it for life.

It's essential to understand that depression is much more than simply a disease or a chemical imbalance. The more we understand about the cycle of depression, that affects our mind and body, the better prepared we are to treat it.
Throwing some light on some of commonly claimed 'medical' causes of depression, gives us a better understanding of depression, and therefore a better chance of overcoming it.

 

Depression as a disease

Depression can not be said to be a disease, because it is not primarily a biological disorder - that is, the root cause of the symptoms are not usually physical. How do we know? Well, here's one way:

People born since 1945 are 10 times more likely to suffer from depression than those born before.

That is an astounding figure, and it cannot be explained away by people going to their doctor more, or depression being diagnosed more easily, as these were taken into account in the study.
Human biology doesn't change that quickly.

What it does show clearly is that most depression is non-biological. Depression has biological effects, but studies now show that less than 10% of depression is biologically caused.
The most widely accepted explanation for this sort of phenomenon is that society has changed. Over the past 5 decades, there has been:

• a breakdown in the extended family
• a dispersal of communities
• an increased focus on material wealth
• an overwhelming prevalence of news media
• and an increase in focus on 'the self'.

All of which, and more besides, add up to a potent recipe for depression.

 

Changes to levels of neurochemicals

Clinical Depression is often said to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and this is what most drug treatments are based on. Certainly in many cases, there is a reduction in the amount of certain neurotransmitters found (monoamines such as serotonin and norepinephrine) in depressed people.
However, low serotonin levels are simply another symtom of depression, not a cause. The more negative introspection you carry out, and the fewer pleasure-giving activities you participate in, the lower your serotonin levels become.

"Regarding depression as "just" a chemical imbalance wildly misconstrues the disorder." - Psychology Today, March 1999

Drug therapies that work on this imbalance lift depression completely in a third of those who take them and partially in another third. For a third of people, antidepressants don't work at all, and many who do get positive results stop taking them because the side effects are worse than the depression symptoms they are supposed to be treating.

Antidepressants are also much worse at preventing relapse than appropriate psychotherapy (which is obvious, when you consider they are treating a symptom, not the cause of depression.) (1, 2)
Depression can lead to chemical changes in the brain, which return to normal once your depression lifts.
Also, we are fully aware that clinical depression is far more than a prolonged sadness, or period of grieving. Yet these chemical imbalances can be found on occasion in all of these situations.

 

Hormonal imbalances

One 'medical' cause of depression often given is the overproduction of stress hormones.
The hormonal imbalances related to depression are to do with our natural reactions to stress, and stress and depression are certainly linked. But does this hormonal imbalance actually cause depression?
It is true that depressed people often have increased levels of stress hormones in their bloodstream (3), but again, this is a symptom, not a cause.

When you ruminate, or introspect in a negative way, you create emotional arousal that causes the release of stress hormones. That night, in REM (dream sleep), you become emotionally aroused again as dreaming 'flushes out' the emotional arousal from your brain.
That is why depressed people have higher levels of stress hormones, and also why you can wake up feeling exhausted. More on this later.

 

How can stress cause depression?

Although stress is a fairly "modern" concept in terms of our biology, the body deals with stress by viewing it as a traditional threat, for example being attacked.
To deal with stress, the body's natural "flight or fight" reactions kick in. Namely:

• shutting down nonessential or distracting activities
• enhancing delivery of "fuel" to the main muscles
• suppressing appetite for food and sex
• heightens alertness
• increasing levels of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol

Obviously this state is not healthy for prolonged periods of time.
The actual link connecting depression and stress concerns our thinking styles, namely the "All or Nothing" thinking our mind uses when it feels we feel threatened.

When you are stressed, your brain works differently. You are more likely to resort to 'All or Nothing' thinking, which causes catastrophising, and difficulties in solving complex problems.

In turn, this creates more arousal, or stress, and so continues the 'loop', increasing the amount you dream, and so exhausting you. This has an additional effect in the way it changes your sleep patterns, as you will see later in the Learning Path.

As we continue to discuss this, remember that statistics only give a general picture. Your own case is totally individual and you should not rule out any line of treatment. For now, your best weapon against depression is knowledge.

Read Also:
Causes of Depression 
Symptoms of Depression 
Signs of Depression 
Medical Causes of Depression
Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2 

Causes of Depression

THERE ARE 3 main points of view about the causes of depression. Most commonly held is the view that it is generally some combination of these three.

1. Depression is a medical disease, caused by a neurochemical or hormonal imbalance.
2. Depression is caused by certain styles of thinking.
3. Depression is a result of unfortunate experiences.

While each of these can be argued strongly to be a cause of depression, each also leaves many important questions unanswered. On the surface, each has a strong case, but none give us the complete picture. Here are some important considerations:

• Although depression causes physical symptoms, and on rare occasions has physical causes, it is not a disease.
• A core aspect of depression is thinking styles, but does being a pessimist inevitably cause depression?
• Trauma, upheaval or sad experiences can seem to trigger depression, but why in people whose circumstances are similar, do some suffer from depression and others don't?
• How can your thinking style cause the horrific physical symptoms of depression? (This will be answered shortly)

Only when we consider all the aspects surrounding depression can we truly see how the pieces fit together, giving us a real understanding of the causes of depression, and therefore the best way to beat it.
By looking at the current thinking on these 'causes' of depression, we can piece together a true understanding of depression and explode some of the myths surrounding it.

 

1) On depression as a disease

As we have seen, depression is not a disease. The physical symptoms are just that, symptoms, and not causes.
Being depressed can feel like a physical disorder because you often feel exhausted, experience pain, have changes in appetite, and so on.
A key to understanding depression lies in looking at how the exhaustion and the physical effects of depression are caused by the link between emotionally arousing thoughts, dreaming and exhaustion. (More on this soon.)

 

2) Depression and thinking styles

It's fairly obvious that depression is not an inevitable consequence of things going wrong. Different people react to adversity in different ways, and this has led to the study of how depressed peoples' thinking styles compare to those who don't depress.
Inside, often feeling guilty for being depressed as well - 'I should be happy' is the common thought.
Other people can have many external disadvantages and yet never become depressed.
When dealing with depression, it is vital to understand that there are many ways of dealing with adversity, some of which will tend to cause depression, and others which will not.

 

3) Depression and events in our lives

A result of bad experiences
Depression is often linked with bad experiences, but can events actually cause depression?
If something awful has happened to you, of course you're going to feel sad, angry, hurt or in shock. And often, traumatic events can be linked to the onset of depression. This does not, however, mean they cause it.
(Important note: Post traumatic stress disorder can lead to depression due to the continuing emotionally arousing thoughts it creates. Quite apart from the results of having your life interrupted on an ongoing basis by horrific memories, the emotional arousal they create can cause depression. We will see how shortly.)
The link between what happens to a person and how they feel as a result depends on how they relate to it. That does NOT mean that people who become depressed are to be blamed, it simply gives us an insight into why depression occurs.
This is clear as we're all aware of people enduring the most horrible circumstances imaginable without becoming clinically depressed.
Events can be seen to be a trigger for depression, but depression is not caused by what happens to us in life (although every one needs a break sometimes). It's about how we respond and make sense of events.
Depression relies how we explain things to ourselves
Much of clinical depression is about how we interpret reality. And when we start to develop depression symptoms, a depressive thinking style can seem impossible to break.
By understanding depressive thinking styles, we can begin to see how they form a pattern of thinking, a cycle of depression, that creates a downward spin and so continues to fuel the depression. 

Read Also:
Causes of Depression 
Symptoms of Depression 
Signs of Depression 
Medical Causes of Depression
Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2 

Symptoms of Depression

Although it is often classed as 'mental illness', clinical depression often has as many physical symptoms as mental. The feelings or emotions that are depression symptoms actually begin to cause the physical effects. How this happens is a vital part of understanding depression and the symptoms that come with it.

Causes of Depression 

If you are depressed at the moment some of the following symptoms may sound familiar:

• You feel miserable and sad.
• You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy.
• You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
• You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy - you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
• You feel very anxious sometimes.
• You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.
• You find it difficult to think clearly.
• You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.
• You feel a burden to others.
• You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.
• You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
• You feel irritable or angry more than usual.
• You feel you have no confidence.
• You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
• You feel that life is unfair.
• You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.
• You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'
• You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.

It's this wealth of depression symptoms, and the broad scope that confuses many people as to what depression actually is. Explanations rarely cover all the symptoms, and everybody's experience is different.
The Learning Path will complete the picture for you. You will gain a complete understanding of depression that incorporates how we think, how depression affects our biology and where the physical symptoms of depression come from.

Read Also:
Causes of Depression 
Symptoms of Depression 
Signs of Depression 
Medical Causes of Depression
Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2 

Signs of Depression

Starting with the signs of depression, the Learning Path will take you on a journey during which you will learn astounding, revolutionary and vital facts about clinical depression. The aim is to give you up-to-date information on depression and what the research says is the best treatment. As you go along, follow the signs at the bottom of each page.

  Symptoms of Depression

During your journey, you will learn:

• How therapists are now lifting even severe depression quickly.
• The astounding new discovery that shows how clinical depression is caused by over-dreaming, and what you can do about it.
• Why depression is 10 times more common in those born since 1945 than in those born before, and why this is important to you.
• The facts about drugs vs. therapy for clinical depression and much, much more.

Once you have completed the Learning Path, you will know enough about depression to decide on the best way for you to get rid of it, and stop it coming back. So, onto the first section...the signs of depression.

  Causes of Depression

Have I Got Signs of Depression?

If you have been feeling down, or out-of-sorts, your thoughts can easily turn to whether you are depressed or not. This first section will take you through the signs of depression and how depression is diagnosed.
However, whether you 'fit' the depression diagnosis or not is unimportant. If you are feeling so down that you need to do something about it, that is enough.
Usually, our clients report one or more of the following:

• Exhaustion on waking
• Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams
• Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep
• Doing less of what they used to enjoy
• Difficulty concentrating during the day
• Improved energy as the day goes on
• Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts
• Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason
• Shortness of temper, or irritability

Not all people have all of these, and some have different signs, but if you are depressed, at least some of these will probably ring true with you.
The individual signs of depression - the way you feel - are what are used in diagnosing depression. So it's easy to see why there is so much confusion, seeing as the signs are generally common emotions and feelings.

Medical Causes of Depression

There are also physical effects of depression, which we'll come to later.
Only a qualified doctor or health practitioner can formally diagnose you with clinical depression. However, how they reach this diagnosis gives an incredibly important insight into how to treat depression.

 

Depression screening and tests for depression undiagnosed.

So let's look now at how clinical depression is normally diagnosed.

 

Diagnosing depression

According to the definitions of most medical, psychological and psychiatric bodies, there is a commonality in the diagnosis of depression. Most depression tests have a very similar framework. Almost without exception, clinical depression will be diagnosed if a certain number of feelings, that are signs of depression, are present over a certain period of time.
Below is the 'official' guide for diagnosing clinical depression:

A person can be diagnosed as suffering from clinical depression if:

(A) Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.

(1) depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.
(2) markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)
(3) significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.
(4) insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day
(5) psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
(6) fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
(7) feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)
(8) diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
(9) recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

(B) The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode.
(C) The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
(D) The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).
(E) The symptoms are not better accounted for by Bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterised by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.

OK, so that's what the doctors use. But if we look at E), it raises some interesting questions.
It says that clinical depression can be diagnosed if the symptoms cannot be attributed to bereavement. So, since grieving is a natural response, we can see that depression is simply an out-of-place natural response.
And of course it is. If it were not, we would have to take drugs to create it.
So what about the incredibly popular idea that depression is due to some unnatural chemical imbalance in the brain. That this 'imbalance' is the source and root cause of depression?
It's possible, but it just doesn't make sense for the majority of cases. And when we look at the increase in depression over the last 50 years or so, we will see that our brain chemistry just can't change that quickly.

Most depression is not due to a chemical imbalance, or genetic factors. Low serotonin levels are a result, not a cause, of depression.

Despite the prevailing ideas for the last few decades, this is now known to be a fact. (1)
This misunderstanding is also the reason why drugs for depression miss the point, and treat the symptoms instead of the causes.
Le Fanu. J. (1999) The Rise and Fall of Modern Medicine. Little, Brown & Company.

 

Understanding this is one of the keys to understanding depression itself.

Read Also:
Causes of Depression 
Symptoms of Depression 
Signs of Depression 
Medical Causes of Depression
Medical Causes of Depression - Part 2